It’s said some heroes are born, and others are made. Taking that seriously, Isaac’s origin comes from when he had to “make” in the middle of the Golden Gate bridge. Upon finding the only bridge-bound porta-potty wrapped up in chains, Isaac Earley took a little boy dump in his pants and had to be driven home with poopy pants squeezed between his mother and grandma in the backseat. The rest, as they say, is history. Isaac graduated from Kutztown University with a bachelor’s degree in Philosophy. He enjoys long walks on the beach, making love at midnight, and pouring lukewarm soup into his own lap. A clever man with impeccable timing and razor-sharp wit, he is able to criticize a movie down to the nub while still giving it the credit it deserves (much to Larry’s irritation). Isaac writes from the heart and, when not wasting his talents on frivolous podcast pursuits, has written some of the most excellent prose you would be privileged to read. In his off time, he is a self-taught amateur photographer will amazing skills other morons pay to learn at schools, can you believe it? He just like read some Google pages or something and he’s already way better than most professionals. He has been arrested for public urination on three separate occasions and owns at least one speculum. Isaac is tolerated by his incredibly patient wife, who slowly poisons Isaac with a steady diet of hot dogs laced with bleach and horse tranquilizer. Isaac can be found at any given day on a hill overlooking the horizon, where he lies in the grass dreaming of what alien boobies might look like.

Larry Beard was born on a moonless night in an unspecified location. A precocious child, Larry was adept at carrying copper wire stripped from the side of abandoned railroads. Like many children of the nineties, he was raised on a steady diet of television and VHS tapes, though that did not quell his passion for the written word. Larry has an astute ear for storytelling, particularly it’s pitfalls and clichés, which is why he often knows the twist of a movie within the first fifteen minutes. At fourteen he read the Bible in its entirety. This might help explain his desire to contextualize stories in terms of their time and culture, and it definitely explains why he’s not allowed within five hundred feet of a nunnery. From the first slap on the bottom Larry was a curmudgeon, a sommelier of hate, if you will. Since Larry can count the things he doesn’t hate on his fingers and toes, when he tells you he likes something you’d do well to listen up, because it’s sure to be something special (disregarding The Last Dragon and Congo of course). A lifelong teetotaler, Larry has kept his wit sharp over the years, and keeps his podcasts full of jocular insights and insightful jokes. It’s hard to say if he’s more adroit with a pen or with a penis, for both his lovemaking and writing will simultaneously satisfy you yet leave you wanting more, or so I’ve been told. When he’s not assembling bombs to silence his enemies, Larry can be found in a twenty four hour laundromat, frantically shoving bloody clothes in the extra large washer.